I don't know what to do......

I am so confused right now. I do not know which direction I need to go on my t-shirt design business. Currently, I use cafepress, zazzle, spreadshirt, printfection and so on. These companies are great just because I do not have to deal with printing, orders and customer services. However, I hate the fact that I cannot look, touch and feel my own products unless I order t-shirts with my own money. I tuely care about the quality of my designs and how they come out on the shirts. I have ordered some of my designs in the past. So far, some came out great, some came out not so great. I am thinking about printing my own screen printing shirt myself, but I don't know if I have the time and energy to do everything on my own. I need to do some thinking........